1. Click the little apple in the top left corner of the screen.
2. Click System Preferences a window should pop-up.
3. Click Speech (4th row from top)
4. Click third checkbox “Speak selected text when the key is pressed”
5. Click Set-key — type in a desired key command – I use command ⌘+\ – to do this just press “command ⌘” then “\”
6. For the “Saw” voice – you know from the movie – Choose whisper (click system voice than show more voices) . For a normal voice choose Alex and move the speed up in between normal and fast.
7. Open up any word editing program- MS word works fine or TextEdit- Anything where you can type.
8. Type in desired speech– Make sure you spell correctly.
9. Highlight with your mouse all the text you wrote.
10. Test your speech with the keystroke you created (“command ⌘” then “\”)
11. Crank call friend with another persons cell phone (so they don’t have the number) or use *67 to block your number
12. With text highlighted wait till person picks up phone and play the speech.

Here’s some examples that I’ve tested that you can use to get yourself started:

1. Use Alex to create a faux American Express or Mastercard automated generated voice message alerting your prey that they have exceeded the limit on their credit cards. List places where it was used in the message (ex. strip clubs in your area, gay bars, or places they go a lot). Make sure you put in the actual customer service number in the end of the message and make up a fake reference code.

2. Use Whisper to create a “Saw” scenario highlighting the reasons why your target will play “a game.” Ex. “You gamble on sports with your family’s money, now it’s time to gamble with your life….Go to (place) and complete (task)… Live or die, make your choice.” This one scared the living shit out of my friend once so make sure you write a good one.

3. Use Victoria (mess with the speed till it sounds right) to create a scenario that she is pregnant with your friends kid and needs to meet.

Let the hilarity ensue :p

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Ever have an online conversation with a friend via instant messaging and for some reason it just feels awkward. In live speech there is a difference from what people say and what they actually mean but when speaking online it is hard to discern this difference due to lack of a face to see or inflection on certain words. However, I’ve been talking online through instant messaging since 4th grade (13 years of typing!) and I believe I figured out what people actually mean when they are typing.  Below is a snippet of a conversation I had with a friend that sparked this very subject and is an investigation into if people actually laugh when they say they are:

4:49 PM me: what else is there

anybody that writes in full sentences just learned that there is such a thing as a computer

4:50 PM smileys although a rare occurrence usually aren’t genuine

except for the wink usually only from girls and is basically online flirting

4:51 PM

ppl who u use the tongue :p face are usually happy ppl and nice to talk to

4:52 PM ppl who use extremely long acronyms only use it to be elitist

such as imho – [in my humble opinion]

lmao

4:53 PM and haxor

Finally if u dont use “u” you’re a probably a very patient person

So readers what do you think? Am I way off camp here or spot on?

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Anyways here’s some fun pranks, tips, and tricks specific for Blackberry users.

1. BBM- Blackberry Messenger Prank

You know when you are BBming a girl at 3am trying to get her to “meet you to play with your wii” and the checkbox next to your sent message says D for delivered but not R for read. What gives? How could she not read it?

“Oh she didn’t read it yet, I’ll send ten more drexts (drunk texts) till she does.”

“Still didn’t read it she must be busy”

That means she didn’t read it yet, right? WRONG! She definitely read it and this is how:

When a message is received (yellowed out smiley face), head over to a DIFFERENT BBM contact conversation

A. Start typing anything. A dialog box will appear below what you just typed “So and So is typing a message”
B. Scroll over this message and press the blackberry button.
C. Click copy.
D. Paste the entire message in the conversation box! You’re message will still be seen as D. Happy ignoring!

2. Autotext Prank

This prank requires you to have short possession of the other persons Blackberry. Practice on your blackberry first, you can do this in less than 30 seconds.

A. Somehow retrieve friend’s blackberry – ask to play brickbreaker, grab it when they leave the room, punch them in the stomach- I’m sure you can think of something.
B. Scroll over to Options and click in.
C. Scroll over to Autotext and click in.
D. Press blackberry button and click NEW.
E. In the “Replace:” field, type a simple commonly used word such as “the” or “hey”
F. In the “With:” field, type in anything you want such as “penis penis penis boy penis is cool”
H. Laugh hysterically as they panic as to why whenever they type the word “the” it changes into “penis penis penis boy penis is cool” over and over.

I got one of my friends to bring his to the store because of this. :p

3. Change your own BBM contact info to a friend’s significant other’s name

This prank is an oldie but a goodie.

A. Go into BBM.
B. Press Blackberry button and click Edit my info.
C. Change name to whoever you want and prank text all you want.
D. For added trickery, take hold of their blackberry and change the significant other’s name to another name before you start this prank.

For April fools I got 30 of my friends to change their names to another friend’s name on BBM. Set up a chat room and invite that person to it along with the 30 friends- hysterical.

4. 123spoof/spoof card App

The ultimate prank. Also known as the home wrecker prank. It’s an application that allows you to replace the caller id on an outgoing call with a caller id of your choice. So you can make it look like you are calling your sister’s hot friend with your sister’s phone when in actuality it is your phone.

A. Google 123spoof or spoof card (renamed themselves this but 123spoof should still work)
B. Download software straight to your Blackberry. (follow their instructions on how to set it up)
C. Input number you want to call and number you want to be shown as (make sure the outgoing party has that number in their contact list else it will not display a caller id)
D. Blackberry button than dial or send, listen to the advertisement, then it’s up to you after that!

There’s tons more, let me know what you think or if you have any yourself please share!

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MAC – very easy

You need 1 program first: iSquint (its free) search on google for it I’m not gonna do everything for you.

Step 1: Open Safari (yes, safari not firefox)
Step doce:  Find youtube video that you like
Step 3: Click Window on the Menu bar
Step 4: Click Activity

Step 5: Find the file with the most megabytes – its the one that’s counting up (mb) ex. http://www.youtube.com/OBABy 6.8 mb (can work on other sites too)

Step 6: Double click it — it should download as get-video

Step 7: Re-name it to get-video.flv (flash video file)

Step 8: Open iSquint – and drag the newly named file into it. Futz with the settings if you want (self-explanatory) convert it to .mp4 and it is now playable in Itunes/iPod

Step 9: Repeat steps 1-8 on every porn site possible and if you’re a dirtbag steal a movie or two or 27

Windows Users (macs can use this as well, but you’ll see why it’s not as good)

http://www.vixy.net  Self-explanatory site go to it, it tells you what to do there.

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